Monday, March 8, 2010

The Unemployed Mother

Hello mommies, let me apologise for not being on top of the game as it relates to posts. My life has taken on a few turns and this post will give you an idea of why I've been so busy. Recently, I started a blog post from my phone about putting the oomph back in your sex life post baby. While I think that is still a topic to be pursued, It somehow got erased and sitting looking at my blank screen, with my one year old in hand, got me thinking about being the unemployed mother. Many of you may not have known, but I have been made redundant from my 'executive title' position since very early December of last year. Since then I have been on an optimist's high and jumped right into freelancing. After all, in my capacity of Public Relations Account Executive, I singlehandedly managed the department and as such knew the ins and outs of the business to operate on my own. So I did just that.

This process however has not always been as fruitful as expected. From late payments (just received a final payment from a job done in November)to an uncertain market, I've had my share of challenges,but as a mother there are definate benefits-not so much from being unemployed, but more from being a 'freelancing-mostly at home mom' (small mercies I tell you). So one of the major benefits is more time with my precious of course. When I look back at my 9-5 and beyond, it seemed so callous in comparison to seeing my daughter grow, hearing her utter new words and do little actions that gets me on the phone telling everyone, you won't believe what Kailee just did. Of course there's also the benefit of sleeping in late, having my baby SEE me every morning and those little wake up hugs are something to live for.

Being somewhat unemployed at home has therefore opened my eyes to all that I've been missing from my child's life. It also got me thinking that every country should allow new moms at least the first year of their child's life away from work. I mean being a mom is a FULL time job, so why is it that society treats it as secondary to a 'job job'. Alas I could go on about the merits of more time with your child/ren, but the major reason for this post was to show that it is true that behind every dark cloud, there is indeed a silver lining and in this instance my lining has become gold as I treasure all these little mommy and me momments. Sadly, while I love freelancing, it currently reeks of uncertainity. I have devised a few startegies to pull in more business, but at the other end if a position still jumps at me, I do the occassional interview (Financial stability reasons). So even as I, the 'unemployed' mother waits, I may not be earning a steady income, but the last 3 months at home can definately be seen as one of my most precious time as a mother. Are you a Stay at home or unemployed mother? Let us know how you cope as well. Cheers!

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7 comments:

shauna said...

Hey Shanoy...i soo understand all your going through. I'm a stay at home mom who freelances yes, but fortunately i scored a steady stay at home web-development job. I have two kids, a 3 yr old princess and a soon to be 1yr old terror of a son(i say that lovingly) and i cant imagine a 9-5 again.
i've been devising plans to make sure i don't have to join someone's slave ship and miss out on all these precious moments i have here with my lil pumpkins.
Being a stay at home mom does have challenges though, its not as easy to concentrate when there is chaos around you constantly, or they decide to "fight" etc and to make my life even more interesting i home-school my 3 yr old.
The secret, it think, is time- management(must admit, i'm still trying to master that)It would helpt hough if we motheres could get a few more hours added to the day right?? lol
Kiss your little pumpkin for me, i'm dying to meet her.

Much Love,
Grapes

Camille said...

Hey Shan, i cant say i know what it feels like to be a stay home mom, bcuz i am somewhat of a workaholic. Even during pregnancy. It is of utmost importance however that we as mommies get time to bond with our little munchkins, but our current financial crises that is affecting our country prevents us from doing so...Even when we stay home, we are looking for things to do to make money. That's just how it is. My son is 19 months and when i am not at home, he and i talk very often on the phone(i try to understand his language but it is a bit technical for me..lol)We really do need some more hours in the days.. just to take time to have fun with our "tiny tots" and watch them do some silly things that makes our day get even better. Shanoy, i dont know what it feels like to be on maternity leave bcuz a week after i gave birth, i had to be doing clinic duty...
Aye boy!! the things we do to ourselves sometimes causes us more harm than good!!One thing i must say though, being on the road daily helps us to get back to our original shape (thats if u dont have exercise equipment at home).. Girl, do what u have to cuz we all want to enjoy life to the fullest and not solely depend on the "daddies" for financial support..
Congrats nonetheless.. I am proud of us Bog Walkians.....lol Be good!!!.......Camille
p.s
Give ur munchkin a big hug for me

Imperfect Stepford Wife said...

I've now done both and I am depressed to be at work. The issue is that my kids are too old for me to even have an excuse to stay at home, I guess seeing both sides helps.

I am so glad that you are enjoying this time, I think there are many issues here. But the main issue is your ability to fill in between the lines with something to do at home.

An unemployed mom is not the same as a "stay at home" mom. If seeking work is a priority for a mom at home, then it is unlikely that she is enjoying the precious time with her children.

After the death of my son, i went instantly from stay at home to unemployed. I simply didn't have a duty at home, it was depressing, and there was no joy in serving my family, I just wanted to escape.

Sorry for leaving a long comment.

jamique said...

Hi Shanoy, as you know I am no longer in the classroom since September 2009. However, being on summer vacations and having time to look for a job whilst getting my summer pay I began to think about my options.It was a blessing in disguise, as I would often moan when I had to leave my two years old son in the mornings. Luckily for me, I had a jewellery business on the side which I was not putting my all into because my teaching job coupled with the responsibility of my son took up a lot of time.So now I had all the time needed to focus on my business and that I did do.It is very rewarding because I control my time and my income.Eventhough some months are slow and I have to sell jewelery on credit, the biggest reward is being able to home school my son and watch his personality come alive.

jamique said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jamique said...

Hi Shanoy, As you know I am no longer teaching as the school where I was teaching was overstaffed.Anyway I had two months to figure out something whilst being paid for the summer holidays. I decided that I was not going to return to the classroom in september but instead focus more on my jewelry business which first started out as a hobby. It amazing how God can turn things in your favour when You have faith and work hard. I now home school my 2 year old son and set my own time.Yes some months are slow and I have to sell on credit. Nothing is more rewarding to me than building a future for my son and teaching him to always put his talents to good use.

Nikx said...

Hey Shan:
Funny, I speak to you so often and didn't realize you were made redundant from your job. So sad but as a full time stay at home mom myself i must say that... It is one of the most joyous experience you will ever have.

I get to see all the 'firsts'and her dad gets to see them on the phone or hear it from me when he gets home from work. ha ha

But as usual, there is the disadvantage. I think I gain more weight because am at home relaxed sleeping in bed and eating whatever i see first in the refrigerator.

Then I sometimes find myself feeling lonely, and helpless...like what else can I do beside being a mom and wife. My friends and family are either at work or they are far away so yes I do have very little adult interaction...

I love every moment with my lil 7mth old mucnkin but sometimes it is very tiring..Though i don't think I would be able to breathe well if I don't see her for two hours.

Do cherish these moments you have now because there is no similar next time.

Bless up..
Nikx

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